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A crowd dragged along behind the cart as if following a coffin. I joined this peculiar ‘funeral procession’. It turned out that there was macaroni in the boxes, but nobody knew where it was being delivered. The driver remained stubbornly silent. Catching sight of a shop ahead we raced one another there and formed a line, exchanging abuse. We could have been trained animals. But the horse, squinting in our direction with his kind eyes, pulled the cart on past. Breaking away from our places, we ran after it. This happened five times. .

At last the cart stopped at a shop. There was a long queue outside, looping round the corner. . Gatekeeper to paradise, the shop manager counted off the ‘faithful souls’, letting them in ten at a time. I stood and gazed mindlessly. I don’t know what was written on my face, but suddenly an old woman waiting in line asked me softly, ‘When is it your turn?’ I answered that I wasn’t queuing, and that to start now would be pointless since there wouldn’t be enough macaroni for everyone anyway. And I added, unusually for me, that I had a small child at home and didn’t know how I was going to feed her.

The woman said nothing, but next time the shop door opened she shoved Yelena forwards, staying outside herself. ‘I was so stunned that even when I had the macaroni there in my hands, which were trembling with excitement, I couldn’t believe that what had happened was real.’

The time bought by this act of charity was short. Though Dima managed, at the cost of enormous physical effort, to make a burzhuika out of corrugated iron scavenged from a bomb site, by mid-December he had sunk into apathy and paranoia. No longer going to work or helping with the baby, he got up only to go to the bread shop, eating the makeweight piece, the prized dovesok, on the way home. His movements, wrote Yelena, were now those of a ‘broken robot’, his expression ‘fossilised’ and ‘savage’, his eyes rimmed with soot and the skin of his face stretched by oedema to a lacquer shine. Her own face had swollen, too — she looked ‘like the back end of a pig’. Neither could think of anything but food:

I pour four ladles of ‘soup’ [made of joiner’s glue and crumbled bread] for Dima and two for myself. For this I get the right to lick the pot, though the soup is so thin that there’s not really anything to lick. Dima eats his with a teaspoon so as to make it last longer. But today he finished his portion faster than I did. I happened to get a particularly hard piece of crust, which I was pleasurably chewing. I could feel him staring with hatred at my steadily moving jaws.

‘You’re eating slowly on purpose!’ he viciously burst out. ‘You’re trying to torment me!’

‘What do you mean? Why would I do that?’ I blurted, amazed.

‘Don’t try to deny it, please, I see everything.’

He glared at me, his eyes pale with rage. I was terrified. Had he gone mad?16

Vera Inber saw a corpse being dragged on a sled for the first time on 1 December. ‘There was no coffin. It was wrapped in a white shroud, and the knees were clearly discernible, the sheet being tightly bound. A biblical, ancient Egyptian burial. The shape of a human form was clear enough, but one couldn’t tell if it was a man or a woman.’ By the end of the month this was a common sight. In October, the NKVD reported to Zhdanov towards the end of December, 6,199 people had died ‘in connection with food difficulties’ in Leningrad, a nearly 80 per cent rise on the usual pre-war mortality rate of about 3,500 deaths per month. In November the number had risen to 9,183, and, in the first twenty-five days of December, to 39,073. Each of the past five days, between 113 and 147 corpses had been picked up on the streets. Mortality rates were particularly high among men (71 per cent of the total), over-sixties (27 per cent of the total) and babies (14 per cent). Despite the arrest of 1,524 ‘speculators’, the report also noted, barter prices for food in the officially illegal but in practice tolerated street markets had risen to extraordinary heights. A rabbit-fur coat was worth one pood (sixteen kilograms) of potatoes, a pocket watch one and a half kilos of bread, a pair of felt boots with galoshes four kilos of duranda. In the last six days of December another 13,808 people died, bringing the month’s total toll to almost 53,000.17

Progress was also being monitored in Berlin. Army intelligence and the Sicherheitsdienst, the intelligence wing of the SS, both regularly reported on conditions inside the city, collating information from informers, deserters and POWs. ‘Illness’, the Sicherheitsdienst reported on 24 November, had ‘started to spread’: