Читаем Strange Sally Diamond полностью

I have spent most of your life keeping you away from psychotherapists, psychiatrists (apart from me) and psychologists.

My profession would never admit this but most of what we do is not very scientific, more like guesswork. Every decade or so, we come up with new labels to categorize people. You could have been diagnosed with anxiety disorder or PTSD. Some might even have said you had Autistic Spectrum Disorder, or that you had an attachment disorder. The fact is that you are a bit odd, that’s all.

You are you. As unique and different as every other person on the planet. Your oddities are not disabilities (although we call them disabilities to get your welfare allowance), they are mere quirks of your personality. You don’t like talking on the phone and I don’t like cauliflower. Are we so different?

I have never been able to diagnose you because none of those categories make sense of the person you are. No label would be able to account for all the contradictions of your behaviour. Sometimes, you are curious. Other times, you couldn’t care less. You are emotional about things that wouldn’t matter to other people but can be unmoved by things that would devastate others. You don’t like talking to strangers, but occasionally I cannot stop you talking to them; remember when the Jehovah’s Witnesses came to the house?

Most of the time, you don’t like when people look at you, but sometimes you stare people in the face, examining them. (I guess that you want to know more about them. I need to remind you that makes people a little uncomfortable.) Your behaviour has always been inconsistent. It is not bad. But you don’t fit any diagnosis of which I am aware.

The issue now is that I don’t think it’s wise for you to live alone out here. I may have been unwise to indulge your self-isolation. I’m not sure that you ever feel lonely. Your decision-making processes aren’t always what we refer to as ‘normal’ and that can lead to trouble and uncomfortable situations. I think you need guidance. Sometimes, you become confused about issues that are important. Your reluctance to approach people is to your detriment. I know that you like and trust Angela, but you cannot depend on her for everything. She runs a busy practice. And she and Nadine need time with each other also so you can’t go running to them with every question. I have made you dependent. That was my mistake.