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SS ROTTENFÜHRER: Well, an army officer told me that the S.S. were the best infantry regiments in Germany. And it was an officer (who said it)!

SERGEANT: Well, with us they said exactly the opposite. They said that the officers were no good at all and were the biggest fatheads!

SS ROTTENFÜHRER: Yes, don’t I just know those young ‘Wehrmacht’ subalterns, who’ve bought their position—the contemptible rats!

SERGEANT: Balderdash! Certainly, if everything that happened in POLAND became known in the Army, there might be an awful row.

SS ROTTENFÜHRER: Well, if I find an officer telling such tales, he won’t live long.

SERGEANT: The scraps between the “S.S.” and the “Wehrmacht” will never end!

SS ROTTENFÜHRER: What happened in POLAND? One mustn’t talk about the casualties. But I can at least tell you that our “S.S.” formations had heavy losses! And the Army left us in the lurch! It was lamentable! At any rate the “S.S.” will never again be subordinate to the Army, that is clear! To give some decrepit old general the right of doing whatever he likes with an “S.S.” regiment! They gave us the dirtiest work…… …. (interrupted).

SERGEANT: Well, I suppose you’re not trying to insinuate that the other infantry regiments had no losses? They lost just as heavily as the “S.S.”—[you] can take that from me! Well, anyway on the Western front the “S.S.” did nothing decisive.

SS ROTTENFÜHRER (shouting): You don’t know anything!

SERGEANT (also shouting): Oh, but I do! Every child knows that!

SS ROTTENFÜHRER: You don’t know it. The “S.S.” fought just as bravely (interrupted)……

SERGEANT: But it did nothing decisive.

SS ROTTENFÜHRER (quite excited): Of course, of course, only the Army…. . but you seem to forget who commands in GERMANY to-day—the Army or the Party. You’ve seen what happens to the Army bosses—people like BLOMBERG etc…. and FRITSCH, if they aren’t willing to pull their weight.

SERGEANT (annoyed): Well, you seem to think that the party and the “S.S.” rule GERMANY and the Army has to play second fiddle! That is where you are entirely wrong! You think the “S.S.” can do whatever it likes! But in BELGIUM it was in a hole, so they sent for us.

SS ROTTENFÜHRER: We were not in a hole at all. Ask anybody as to what the “S.S.” did at DUNKIRK and on the SCHELT. You can’t imagine it!

SERGEANT: Well, at any rate the Army is still the decisive factor.

SS ROTTENFÜHRER: And, without us, it would be wiped out.

SERGEANT: Well then, we must abolish the Army and only have “S.S.” units. My height is 1.72 (m), perhaps they’ll take me!

SS ROTTENFÜHRER: Well, the “S.S.” regiments, “Deutschland,” “Germania” and “Adolf Hitler” are certainly the best infantry regiments in GERMANY.⁷⁵³