LEAR Ay, boy.
FOOL Then, I prithee be merry: thy wit shall not go slip-10
shod.
LEAR Ha, ha, ha!
FOOL Shalt13
see thy other daughter will use thee kindly, forthough she’s as like this as a crab’s14
like an apple, yet I can tellwhat I can tell.
LEAR What canst tell, boy?
FOOL She will taste as like this as a crab does to a crab.
Thou canst tell why one’s nose stands i’th’middle on’s18
face?LEAR No.
FOOL Why, to keep one’s eyes of either side’s20
nose, thatwhat a man cannot smell out he may spy into.
LEAR I did her22
wrong—FOOL Canst tell how an oyster makes his shell?
LEAR No.
FOOL Nor I neither; but I can tell why a snail has a house.
LEAR Why?
FOOL Why, to put’s head in, not to give it away to his
daughters and leave his horns without a case.
LEAR I will forget my nature. So kind a father!— Be my
horses ready?
FOOL Thy asses are gone about ’em. The reason why the31
seven stars are no more than seven is a pretty32
reason.LEAR Because they are not eight.
FOOL Yes, indeed: thou wouldst make a good fool.
LEAR To take’t again35
perforce. Monster ingratitude!FOOL If thou wert my fool, nuncle, I’d have thee beaten
for being old before thy time.
LEAR How’s that?
FOOL Thou shouldst not have been old till thou hadst
been wise.
LEAR O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven!
Keep me in temper42
: I would not be mad!—How now, are the horses ready?
GENTLEMAN Ready, my lord.
LEAR Come, boy.
FOOL She that’s a maid46
now, and laughs at my departure,Shall not be a maid long, unless things47
be cut shorter.Act 2 Scene 1
EDMUND Save thee1
, Curan.CURAN And you, sir. I have been with your father, and given
him notice that the Duke of Cornwall and Regan his duchess
will be here with him this night.
EDMUND How comes that?
CURAN Nay, I know not. You have heard of the news
abroad: I mean the whispered ones, for they are yet but ear-7
kissing arguments?
EDMUND Not I: pray you, what are they?
CURAN Have you heard of no likely wars toward10
’twixt thedukes of Cornwall and Albany?
EDMUND Not a word.
CURAN You may do then in time. Fare you well, sir.
EDMUND The duke be here tonight? The better — best!
This weaves itself perforce15
into my business.My father hath set guard to take16
my brother,And I have one thing, of a queasy question17
,Which I must act. Briefness and fortune, work!—
Brother, a word: descend, brother, I say!
My father watches20
: O sir, fly this place.Intelligence21
is given where you are hid;You have now the good advantage of the night.
Have you not spoken gainst the Duke of Cornwall?
He’s coming hither, now, i’th’night, i’th’haste24
,And Regan with him: have you nothing said25
Upon his party gainst the Duke of Albany?
Advise yourself27
.EDGAR I am sure on’t, not a word.
EDMUND I hear my father coming, pardon me:
In cunning30
I must draw my sword upon you:Draw, seem to defend yourself. Now quit you31
well.Yield: come before my father.— Light, ho, here!—
Fly, brother.— Torches, torches!— So, farewell.
Some blood drawn on me would beget opinion34
Of my more fierce35
endeavour: I have seen drunkardsDo more than this in sport.— Father, father!
Stop, stop! No help?
GLOUCESTER Now, Edmund, where’s the villain?
EDMUND Here stood he in the dark, his sharp sword out,
Mumbling of wicked charms, conjuring the moon40
To stand auspicious mistress41
—GLOUCESTER But where is he?
EDMUND Look, sir, I bleed.
GLOUCESTER Where is the villain, Edmund?
EDMUND Fled this way, sir. When by no means he could—
GLOUCESTER Pursue him, ho! Go after.
By no means what?
EDMUND Persuade me to the murder of your lordship,
But that I told him the revenging gods
Gainst parricides did all the thunder bend50
,Spoke with how manifold and strong a bond
The child was bound to th’father; sir, in fine52
,Seeing how loathly opposite53
I stoodTo his unnatural purpose, in fell54
motionWith his preparèd sword, he charges home55
My unprovided body, latched56
mine arm;And when he saw my best alarumed57
spirits,Bold in the quarrel’s right, roused to th’encounter58
,Or whether ghasted59
by the noise I made,Full60
suddenly he fled.GLOUCESTER Let him fly far:
Not in this land shall he remain uncaught,
And found — dispatch63
. The noble duke my master,My worthy arch and patron64
, comes tonight:By his authority I will proclaim it,
That he which finds him shall deserve our thanks,
Bringing the murderous coward to the stake67
:He that conceals him, death.
EDMUND When I dissuaded him from his intent