Читаем Frog полностью

I pulled my thoughts back from where they were headed, like reining in a spooked horse. I thought back to the evening we were sending the Kitchen God off. I had just dumped a bamboo steamer full of dumplings into a pot of boiling water to the accompaniment of my daughter Yanyan, who clapped and sang a children’s song about dumplings — ‘Geese flying from the south splash into the river’ — as Little Lion cooed to Chen Mei in her arms, when Chen Bi, in his worn-shiny leather jacket and cap with earflaps, sort of staggered into our yard. Chen Er was behind him, holding on to his shirt tail. She was wearing a little padded coat whose sleeves ended above her wrists, exposing hands red from the cold. Her hair looked like a bird’s nest, and she was sniffling, probably from a cold.

You’re just in time to eat, I said as I stirred the dumplings in the pot. Have a seat.

He sat on the threshold, his face illuminated by flames from the stove. His large nose looked like a turnip carved out of ice. Chen Er stood beside him, resting her hand on his shoulder, the light of fear in her large eyes that kept darting around curiously: from the dumplings roiling in the pot to Little Lion and the baby in her arms; then they alit on Yanyan, who held out a piece of chocolate. She cocked her head to look at her father, then looked up at us.

Take it, I said. She wants you to have it.

She reached out timidly.

Chen Er! Chen Bi snapped.

The girl jerked her hand back.

What’s that for? I said. She’s just a child.

Chen Er burst into tears.

I picked up a handful of chocolate and stuffed it into Chen Er’s coat pocket.

Chen Bi stood up and said to Little Lion, Give me back my child.

She just stared at him. I thought you didn’t want her.

Who said so? he growled. She’s my flesh and blood, why wouldn’t I want her?

You don’t deserve her! Little Lion shot back. She looked like a sick kitten when she was born, and I’m the one who kept her alive.

Wang Dan went into labour so early because you were hounding her! If you hadn’t she’d be alive today. You owe me a life!

Bullshit! Little Lion said. She should never have been pregnant in the first place. All you cared about was carrying on your line. You didn’t give a damn if Wang Dan lived or died. Her death is on your hands!

How dare you say that! Chen Bi screamed. If you say it again I’ll make sure your family has a terrible New Year’s!

Chen picked a garlic press up off the counter and aimed it at the pot on the stove.

Have you lost your mind, Chen Bi? We’ve been friends since we were kids.

What good are friends in times like these? He sneered. Were you the one who reported that Wang Dan was hiding in your father-in-law’s house?

That had nothing to do with him, Little Lion said. It was Xiao Shangchun.

I don’t care who it was. All I know is, you have to give me back my child.

In your dreams! Little Lion said. I’m not going to let this child die at your hand. You have no right to call yourself a father.

You stinking hermaphrodites can’t have kids of your own, so you won’t let other people have theirs. When they do, you take them for your own!

Shut your stinking mouth, Chen Bi, I fumed. What’s the big idea of coming to my house while we’re sending off the Kitchen God and making a scene? Go ahead, throw it if you think you have the guts.

You think I won’t?

Go ahead.

If you people don’t give me back my child, nothing will stop me, not murder or anything, from getting what I want.

Father, who had been in his room, not saying a word, walked out. Good nephew, he said, for the sake of this bearded old man, who was your father’s friend for so many years, put that garlic press down.

Then tell her to give me my child.

No one’s going to take your child from you, but you need to talk this out with her, Father said. When all is said and done, if not for them, the child would have followed her mother.

Chen Bi threw the press to the floor and sat back down on the threshold, where he began to sob.

Chen Er patted his shoulder. Dad, she said through her tears, don’t cry…

The scene was affecting me as well. I guess, I said to Little Lion, you should give her to him.

Don’t even think that! she said. This child is a foundling, and I found her.

You shouldn’t treat people like this, Chen sobbed. That’s not how things are supposed to be…

Go call your aunt, Father said.

No need for that, Gugu said from just beyond the doorway, I’m right here.

I felt as if our saviour had arrived.

Stand up, Chen Bi, Gugu said. I was waiting for you to throw the garlic press into the pot.

Chen Bi obediently got to his feet.

Chen Bi, do realise you committed a crime?

What crime did I commit?

Child abandonment, Gugu said. We brought Chen Mei back with us, and kept her alive by feeding her millet porridge and powdered milk. For more than six months you didn’t so much as come to see her. You’re her biological father, that’s true, but how have you met your responsibilities as a parent?

She’s still mine, he muttered.