LITTLE LION, one-time assistant to Gugu, Tadpole’s wife, in her fifties

CHEN MEI, surrogate mother, in her twenties, a fire victim with a disfigured face

CHEN BI, Chen Mei’s father, Tadpole’s elementary schoolmate, a vagrant in his fifties

YUAN SAI, Tadpole’s elementary schoolmate, Bullfrog Company boss, secretly engaged in a ‘surrogate mother company’, in his fifties

COUSIN, Jin Xiu by name, Tadpole’s cousin, Yuan Sai’s subordinate, in his forties

LI SHOU, Tadpole’s elementary schoolmate, restaurant owner, in his fifties

STATION CHIEF, police officer in his forties

WEI YING, policewoman, a recent police academy graduate, in her twenties

HAO DASHOU, a folk artist, Gugu’s husband

QIN HE, a folk artist, Gugu’s admirer

LIU GUIFANG, Tadpole’s elementary schoolmate, manager of the county guesthouse

GAO MENGJIU, Gaomi County Chief during the Republic of China era

YAMEN CLERKS

HOSPITAL SECURITY GUARDandHOSPITAL SECURITY SUPERVISOR

TWO MASKED INDIVIDUALS IN BLACK

TV CAMERAMAN, FEMALE JOURNALIST, andOTHERS

Act I

Sino-American Jiabao Women’s and Children’s Hospital compound. An impressive gateway, suggestive of a government office. The hospital marquee hangs above and to the left of the marble-faced main door.

To the right stands a sign the size of a billboard etched with hundreds of baby pictures.

A security guard in a grey uniform stands stiffly to the left of the gate, welcoming or sending off each luxury automobile that enters or leaves the compound with a crisp salute. His action is comically, laughably exaggerated.

A full moon shines brightly on the backdrop, behind which emerges the sound of exploding firecrackers; an occasional burst of fireworks lights up the backdrop.

SECURITY GUARD: (takes out his cell phone, reads a text message, and laughs) Tee-hee.

The security supervisor slips out through the gate.

SUPERVISOR: (standing unnoticed behind the security guard, says sternly in a low voice) What’s so funny, Li Jiatai? (feels something land on his foot) Where did all these frogs come from at this time of year? What are you laughing at?

SECURITY GUARD: (startled, nervously snaps to attention) Reporting, sir, the earth is getting warmer, the greenhouse effect. What’s funny? Nothing…

SUPERVISOR: If nothing’s funny, what are you laughing at? (shakes the foot on which the frog rests) What’s going on here? Is another earthquake on its way? I asked you what’s so funny.

SECURITY GUARD: (seeing there’s no one around, says with a laugh) Sir, this joke is really funny…

SUPERVISOR: I’ve told you people, no texting!

SECURITY GUARD: Reporting, sir, I’m not texting. I’m just reading a few text messages.

SUPERVISOR: What’s the difference? If Department Head Liu saw you, you could kiss your rice bowl goodbye.