Читаем Forever Amber полностью

The restraint he had shown thus far now vanished swiftly, giving way to a passion that was savage, violent, ruthlessly selfish. Amber, inexperienced but not innocent, returned his kisses eagerly. Spurred by the caressing of his mouth and hands, her desire mounted apace with his, and though at first she had heard, somewhere far back in her mind, Sarah calling out to her, warning her, the sound and the image grew fainter, dissolved, and was gone.

But when he forced her back onto the earth she gave a quick movement of protest and a little cry—this was as far as her knowledge went. Something mysterious, almost terrible, must lie beyond. Her hands pushed at his chest and she gave a frightened little sob, twisting her face away from his. Her fear now was irrational, intense, almost hysterical.

“No!” she cried. “Let me go!”

She saw his face above her, and his eyes had become pure glittering green. Amber, crying, half-mad with passion and terror, suddenly let herself relax.

With slow reluctance Amber became again conscious of the surrounding world, and of both of them as separate individuals. She drew a deep luxurious sigh, her eyes still closed—she felt that she could not have moved so much as a finger.

After a long while he drew away from her and sat up, forearms resting on his knees, a long blade of grass between his teeth, staring ahead. His tanned face was wet with sweat and he mopped across it with the black-velvet sleeve of his doublet. Amber lay perfectly still beside him, eyes closed and one arm flung over her forehead. She was warm and drowsy, marvellously content, and glad with every fibre of her being that it had happened.

It seemed that until this moment she had been only half alive.

Aware of his eyes on her she turned her head slightly and gave him a lazy smile. She wanted to say that she loved him but did not quite dare, even now. She wished he would say that he loved her, but he only bent and kissed her, very gently.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I didn’t expect to find you a virgin.”

“I’m glad I was.”

Was that all he was going to say? She waited, watching him, beginning to feel uncertain and a little afraid. He looked again as he had when she first saw him—she could never tell now by his expression or manner how close they had been. She was surprised and hurt, for what had happened should have changed him as much as it had her. Nothing should ever be the same again, for either of them.

At last he got up, squinting overhead at the sun. “They’ll be waiting for me. We want to get into London before nightfall.” He reached down a hand to help her and she jumped up quickly, shaking out her hair, smoothing her blouse, touching her earrings to make sure she had not lost them.

“Lud, we mustn’t be late!”

Knocking at the dust on his hat, he gave her a glance of quick astonishment, then set it back on his head. He scowled, as though he had got more than he had bargained for.

At his look, Amber’s smile and excitement went suddenly dead. “Don’t you want me to go?” She was almost ready to cry.

“My dear, your aunt and uncle would never approve.”

“What do I care! I want to go with you! I hate Marygreen! I never want to see it again! Oh, please, your Lordship. Let me go with you.” Marygreen and her life there had suddenly become intolerable. He had crystallized all the restlessness, the thirst and longing for a broader, brighter life which had been working within her, half unrealized, ever since she had first talked to the cobbler many years ago.

“London’s no place for an unmarried girl without money or acquaintance,” he said in a matter-of-fact tone, which even Amber knew meant that he did not care to be troubled with her. And then he added, perhaps because he was sorry to hurt her, “I won’t be there long. And what would you do when I go? It wouldn’t be easy to come back here—I know well enough what an English village thinks of such escapades. And in London there aren’t many means of livelihood open to a woman. No, my dear, I think you’d better stay here.”

All of a sudden, to his surprise as well as her own, she burst into tears. “I won’t stay here! I won’t! I can’t stay here now! How d’ye think I’m to explain to my Uncle Matt where I’ve been these two hours—when a hundred people I know saw us leave the fair grounds!”

A look of annoyance crossed his face, but she did not see it. “I told you that would happen,” he reminded her. “But even if he’s angry it’ll be better for you to go back and—”

She interrupted him. “I’m not going back! I won’t live here any more, d’ye hear? And if you won’t take me with you—then I’ll go alone!” She stopped suddenly and stood looking up at him, angry and defiant, but pleading, too. “Oh, please—your Lordship. Take me along.”

They stood and stared at each other, but at last his scowl faded away and he smiled. “Very well, you little minx, I’ll take you. But I won’t marry you when we get there—and don’t forget, whatever happens, that I told you so.”