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She carried me up to her bedroom and I sat, looking at her, waiting. I knew what was lurking under the joy. Sadness, guilt and a mother’s grief at losing her child.

‘It has to come out,’ my angel had said, ‘and you must be there.’

So I sat, and looked into her soul, and waited.

The exams were over. TammyLee had a space in front of her, and, like a summer sky, it darkened in seconds with the thundercloud of emotions she’d been suppressing for the last year.

‘You know … about Rocky, Tallulah,’ she whispered, and started twisting her bangles round and round her arm, pinching them together and letting them fall, clinking and twinkling down to her wrist. ‘I think about him every day,’ she said. ‘It’s like … he’ll never leave me alone, Tallulah. I … I so wish I’d cuddled him … he was gorgeous … he had such bright, knowing eyes … and cute little hands that looked like mine … How could I have … done what I did? He’ll never forgive me and I’ll never forgive myself. I’m so wicked, Tallulah …thank you for loving me … I don’t deserve you. Oh, what am I going to do?’

She cried out as the storm of remorse broke into her summer. It was loud, and unstoppable. I heard Amber whining and padding upstairs, her tail down as she came round the door and sat close, her chin on the bed. Then I heard the tap and shuffle of Diana’s Zimmer frame as she dragged herself into TammyLee’s bedroom, her eyes brimming with concern.

‘What is it, darling?’

TammyLee shook her head violently.‘I can’t tell you, Mum.’

‘You can, just take your time.’ Diana manoeuvred herself onto TammyLee’s bed, and took her daughter’s hot head into her frail arms, stroking her back and twiddling strands of her hair, which were escaping from the fiercely pinned bun.

TammyLee tore at it and shook it loose.‘I can’t STAND my hair, it’s driving me bonkers and I’m too hot,’ she moaned, and Diana picked up a magazine and began to fan her daughter’s face with it.

‘But what’s really wrong?’ she asked. ‘Something’s been bugging you for a long, long time, TammyLee … don’t think I haven’t noticed. It’s OK, love, you know you can tell me anything … I won’t tell your Dad … I promise.’

‘I can’t.’ TammyLee shook her head. She stared at Diana. ‘You shouldn’t have got out of bed, Mum. I’ll get your tea now and sort you out.’

‘No, sweetheart, I don’t need anything and I’m going to sit here until you tell me what’s wrong,’ said Diana. ‘I can’t bear to see you suffer like this. Tallulah’s all right now. Your exams are over. So what is it?’

TammyLee was silent, her fingers pulling a long gold thread out of a cushion.

‘Is it … looking after me?’ Diana asked, and TammyLee shook her head, her eyes staring out of the window.

‘As long as I’m alive, you’ll never be free,’ said Diana seriously. ‘I worry for you. It’s not the kind of life I dreamed of for my only daughter. I dreamed of you being happy. Growing up and meeting a lovely young man, and, eventually … grandchildren! I’d so love to be a granny.’

‘Oh, Mum!’ TammyLee pulled harder at the long golden thread she was extracting from a cushion. She wound it tightly round her fingers and seemed to be holding her breath. Obviously, Diana’s comment had made things worse. The silence went on so long that I felt I should meow, and, when I did, they both looked at me. I could see the desperation in TammyLee’s eyes, and I wanted to help. Moving softly, I crept onto her lap and stretched my paws over her heart. But still she was silent, and I tried so hard to communicate telepathically with Diana.

Something must have got through, for Diana was looking intently at her daughter, trying to get eye contact.

‘What is it, darling?’ she asked. Then, in the long silence, Diana reached out her hand to touch TammyLee’s shoulder. ‘You’re not … not …?’ She took a deep breath. ‘You’re not pregnant, are you love? You know I’d stand by you if you were.’

‘No, Mum. It’s OK. You don’t have to give me the birds-and-bees stuff.’

‘Promise?’

‘Promise.’

‘Well, are you going to unpick that whole cushion?’ Diana’s eyes danced with gentle humour. ‘Or shall we start on the sofa?’

TammyLee smiled.

‘You’re amazing, Mum,’ she said, and the tension had passed … until the next time, I thought. One day, TammyLee will tell Diana about Rocky.

But later, when I was curled up on her bed, TammyLee whispered to me fiercely:‘Mum and Dad must never know about Rocky. Never, never, EVER.’

Chapter Eleven

DYLAN

It didn’t take me long to recover from being dropped in the river. I had a happy home, and lots of love and attention. TammyLee spoiled me with the best food, and a fishy tasting tablet she gave me daily. ‘For your coat,’ she said, and my tabby and white fur was thick and glossy. She brushed me a lot, so I didn’t have the hassle of sorting out matted tufts of hair. She examined my paws, and my eyes, and even my teeth, to make sure I was healthy. I couldn’t have been a more pampered cat.